You're back! Outstanding.
Before I start, I shall solemnly promise that this will be my last post about crackle nail polish.
For a while.
Given how profoundly the introduction of OPI's Black Shatter had effected my life, when I discovered that my other favourite brand, China Glaze, had released a collection of variously coloured crackle polish I almost lost consciousness. Luckily I didn't, I simply moseyed on over to Amazon and paid more than they are probably worth to have them shipped my way.
As soon as I received them, I noted to Mr. Rascal that the colours seemed... um... dated. "Cyndi Lauper-shoulder pad-scrunchies" dated. Mr. Rascal duly noted that most of the things I value are outdated. Touché I say, before realising that this is a man who considers Kurt Russell to be the epitome of masculinity and someone worth emulating (right down to Snake Plissken's eye patch and a sexy, flowing mullet).
The China Glaze collection consists of Broken Hearted (pink), Cracked Concrete (grey), Crushed Candy (teal), Fault Line (purple), Lightning Bolt (white) and Black Mesh (black).
Strangely, the daggy 80's-ness of it all appealed to me. Engaging in a bit of deep subconscious-regression analysis of my noggin's inner workings, I came to the conclusion that my pre-occupation with crackle polishes stems from seeing a crackle polish for sale at K-Mart when I was a little girl.
Oh, how I desperately wanted that no-name bottle of rebellion! It was a turquoise middle finger to the early 90's convention of the frosted acrylic claws that every woman (and by 'woman', I mean 'receptionist') seemed to be smugly sporting. The vibrant, anachronistic polish was something I imagined a punk would wear. And not just any punk, but the punk that this seven year-old loved the most: Spike from Degrassi Junior High
Spike! Or, as her name translates to in her native Canadian, 'Spoike'.
Every weeknight at 6pm I would tune into my favourite Canadian kids show (No, not 'You Can't Say That On Television'. That show is terrifying). DJH had a something for everyone. By 'everyone', I mean of course all those pregnant, HIV Positive, drug addicted, depressed/suicidal, self-harming, orphaned, punk/goth/jock, gay, religiously torn teens with low self esteem and an alcoholic father who gets a little to close for comfort. Fortunately, at seven at least, I struggled with none of these issues (the Goth phase came much later). But that didn't stop me from reveling in the 'grown up' dramas, such as Spike's teen pregnancy and Wheel's parents being tragically killed by a drink driver. I'm not sure if Degrassi had any effect on my growing into the spectacularly drama free adult that I am, but I did not get pregnant as a teen nor have I drunkenly killed anyone. Yet.
Oh, did I mention the eye candy? Ladies and Gentlemen: Joey Jeremiah
Where was I? Oh, that's right: crackle polish at K-mart. As is probably evident from the significant psychological impact it has had on me, traumatically the crackle polish sold out before I ever had a chance to indulge in it's society-confronting glory. But now I'm an adult and I can have whatever the hell I damn well want, and what I want is the outdated crackle colours that China Glaze can offer me.
Since you've already seen Black Shatter in action, I have omitted a Black Mesh swatch and stuck with the five other colours. Which is convenient as I only have five fingers on my left hand. The right hand is a different story.
I'll start with the base colours:
Picture perfect hand with no extra digits.
Thumb: Sally Hansen High Definition Colour in 'Digital' - holo-pink
Pointer finger: OPI 'A Oui Bit of Red' - um... red
Rudie finger: BYS Fluoro Green
Useless, hard to control finger: Ultra3 Nail Colour in 'Spring Break' - purple
Pinkie finger: Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Color in 'Night Flight' - inky blue
Now for the crackles!
Chimney McGillicuddy! (That's my hands name - it came to me in a dream)
Thumb: China Glaze Cracked Concrete - Grey
Pointer finger: China Glaze Lightning Bolt - white
Rudie finger: China Glaze Fault Line - purple
Useless, hard to control finger: China Glaze Broken Hearted - pink
Pinkie finger: China Glaze Crushed Candy - teal
The difference between OPI and China Glaze is that Black Shatter needs to applied in one thick coat. Going over the same section a second time wont thicken the coverage, it will just drag the fast drying first swipe straight off. China Glaze wins in the application department as you only need a thin layer and you can go over it a second time, it just wont crack as well (as is evident with the pink, which I applied way to heavily) and also with it's larger variety you have more option. But I think I prefer the final look of Black Shatter more so than China Glaze, it just cracks in a nicer way.
As far as the color juxtaposition goes, I am absolutely in lust with the white on red look. I went through a phase last year of painting my nails white and hand painting red blood dripping down them for a Dexter themed look. I feel this achieves the same effect with heaps less effort. I was at a loss as to what colour I wanted to layer under the grey crackle and eventually went with pink after seeing some other examples on the interwebz. But to me, the pink/grey combo is just meh.
Here is a terrible photo of a better application of the pink crackle worn over Maybelline Mini Colorama in Deep Plum:
80's fantasy!
That's pretty much all I have on the crackles for the time being. I'm still hanging out for the release of OPI's Silver Shatter in the Pirates of the Caribbean collection, but that's not for two and half painful months.
The coming posts will be about my favourite new acquisition: Konad stamping plates! Oh, and I ordered some wicked glow-in-the-dark nail polish from a China Glaze collection from 2009 that I'm pretty excited about, so you can look forward to some periodic table themed posts in the near future. I will make learning fun! (I never trust people who say that)
Anyway, to play us out, here is Joey Jeremiah and The Zit Remedy
Fuck you Glee.
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